Pinch
by muaaimoi
Summary: Waiting tables on St.Patrick's Day can be a pain in the butt. Literally. Fortunately for Penny Sheldon's willing to help. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Enjoy S/P love!


**Pinch**

_**by: muaaimoi**_

She had forgotten. She didn't know how, usually this day was circled in a ridiculous amount of different colors, all the warning Penny usually needed to prepare. But somehow, somewhere between braking up with Leonard, and getting steadily drunker each night she realized her future looked quite bleak without the promise of sex, she had forgotten.

Penny stared at her place of employment with a horror so acute it deserved to be aimed at an axe murdurer running towards her. At this point, Penny wished. She could go all Junior Rodeo on some wanna be phyco killer. The same could not be said of the more hands on patrons of the Cheesecake Factory. Penny would get fired if she ever decked any of them.

And somehow , they all decided they were allowed to pinch her butt on St. Patrick's Day if she wasn't wearing green. Witch Penny wasn't, because her uniform had none, and she had forgotten to get so much as a headband.

It was two hours into her shift, and a very sore behind, later, that Bernadette showed up and took pity on her. Giving up her Shamrock Glasses and keeping her large, noticeable feathery green earnings. Penny hugged her so hard she heard Bernadette's back crack, she was such a good friend...

xXx

It was later that night that she was getting back, of course the boys chose to walk in once she'd declared the place safe enough to give her behind a consolatory rub. It was a whole four flight of stairs before she could get her ass cheeks some well deserved ice.

Leonard squeaked, and she sighed, not looking forward to the conversation.

Sheldon just raised an inquisitive eyebrow, " Penny, what are you doing?"

" Rubbing my sore behind" She answered bluntly, it was Sheldon ,there was no point in mincing words.

" I see " He said nodding, and as far as he was concerned, that was that.

Sadly Leonard wasn't so easily pleased, " Bu-but why are you rubbing it? And why is it sore in the first place!"

" And just how is that any of your business?" The asshole actually sounded jealous, like it was some, ohhh, Penny was so mad! Did he really think she was dating some one with a spanking fetish or something! Asshole. He had dated her, ad while Penny wasn't opposed to the occasional spank, no way she was dating some one with a paddle or something. They had talked about this.

Leonard spluttered, before working himself into enough indignation to hiss, " I was just wondering if all of your fetishes decided to show up after we broke up!"

Penny felt herself flush with rage. It had been very kind of her to not tell Leonard that he simply didn't fill any of her fetishes, not being tall, or having large hands. Of course if he had decided to be a dick she could be one as well," Well it free's me up to find some one who can fill them! And just for the record, I forgot that today was St. Patrick's Day, and every drunk asshole at the Cheesecake Factory decided they could pinch my ass since I wasn't wearing green!"

That definitely shut Leonard up, but she was surprised when Sheldon opened his mouth.

" Don't be ridiculous Penny, you are always adorned with green."

Penny looked down at her uniform, " Nope, last I checked, no green to be seen sweetie."

She was too tired and sore to put up with incomprehensible geniuses right now.

Sheldon sighed, his snobby ' and-this-is-precisely-why-I'm-a-genius-and-you-are-not' one. Penny needed a shorter name for that. But some how just saying snobby wasn't quite right.

" I was referring to the fact that due to your Midwestern decent, you have very green eyes, Penny. And no ensemble I have seen you wear has had any effect on their color other than to make them appear greener."

It was Penny's turn to be quiet, touched as she was. That had to be the nicest thing Sheldon had ever said to her. Possibly the first out right compliment. Usually Penny could apretiate the back handed ones, even if they were sometimes insulting. It was just the way Sheldon delivered them, like they were a fact of life every one should understand, like physics.

Leonard just stared at Sheldon incredulously.

Penny decided to head up then, leaving the guys to stare after her, she genuinely felt better, and she didn't want Sheldon to open his mouth and ruin it. Seeing as he'd actually caused her actual new found good mood.

xXx

Knock-knock-knock

"Penny"

Knock-knock-knock

"Penny"

The girl in question stared at her door with something akin to betrayal. There was nothing dignified on laying on her couch with spandex pants and frozen peas on her ass, but that didn't mmean Penny wanted to get up. She'd just gotten use to the wet spot caused by her hair, if she moved it would feel uncomfortable to lay back on it.

Couldn't Sheldon let the night end on a good note for once? Apparently not.

Knock-knock-knock

"Penny"

" Its open" She called before he decided to start up again, a quitter Sheldon was not.

" I come bearing a gift" Sheldon informed her, looking particularly pleased with himself," I recall having something rather similar happen to me on this very day of march in my childhood, while children aren't allowed to drink, they feel no need to do so to be obnoxious, and bully's will take any excuse to hurt their victims. Alovera is very soothing."

Penny smiled, that was actually very nice, " Thanks sweetie, can you leave it on the coffee table?"

Sheldon looked at her coffee table, Penny had forgotten to put away her Mani-Pedi stuff from the night before, coupled with a few magazines, and that's where her bunny scrungie had ended up...Okay so it was messy. Sheldon's eye twitched.

She sighed, before the devious side of her brain decided to put it's two cents in," How about you help me put it on instead?"

" Acceptable" Sheldon stated, and all Penny could do was stare at him, would he really rather touch her than place something on her coffee table? It wasn't that dirty...Really.

" You do realize that they were pinching my butt, right?" Penny blushed, she had, and just what had she been thinking?

" As if I could forget" Sheldon stated matter of factly, uncapping the tube in his hands, " Please take of your pants."

Penny stared, unable to comprehend that Sheldon cooper had just asked her to take off her pants. Sheldon continued, oblivious. Pouring lotion into the palm of his hands, and had his hands always been so big?

Penny shook the thought away, now was so not the time! " I was joking!"

" I fail to see how my inability to forget things is amusing Penny" Sheldon replied, practically looming over her, how was it fair that he was so tall?

And Penny blushed a brighter red, and not because Sheldon looked surprisingly hot from that angle, but because she was honestly tempted. But this was Sheldon, her whack-a-doodle neighbor! If he realized what he was doing she might break him.

She couldn't even argue that he would see her ass, as he'd peeked at her, and he knew exactly what that looked like. And was she really looking for a reason for Sheldon Cooper not to take off her pants when he was looking hot enough to serve as a fire for a BBQ at the fourth of July? Apparently.

" You'll be touching me!" Penny cried, not quite as desperately as she should have, but she was only human, and really, how was she finding the way sheldon was spreading lotion on his hands hot?" Germs!"

" Penny" Sheldon said, using the tone he usually reserved for attempting to explain science things to her, " You just showered, and you own a lot of antibacterial soap."

Well there was that...In a split second decision that was far too in character Penny caved. Hey, if she wanted it, and he as offering, wasn't it rude not to take it?

" Ok" She mumbled, feeling the heat on her cheeks spike again, and what was the last time she had blushed so hard?

Penny arched her ass slightly off her couch, letting the froze peas fall to the floor, and pushing her spandex pants down enough to expose the whole of her ass. Very glad she'd thought to wear a thong. The sexy lingerie didn't match her yellow bra, but it was very green, and therefore season appropriate.

" Very well" Sheldon mumbled, and before Penny could wonder weather or not he was about to chicken out, he fell to his knees beside her and cupped her ass.

Penny was startled into a moan, her blush, once again leveling up.

" T-the lotio-ons coooold" She attemted to justify, between a stutter and a moan.

Sheldon had very,very big hands. And the blood wasn't rushing only to her face.

Then he squeezed and Penny all but purred. Unable to summon up any more embarrassment for the sound. Sheldon spread the lotion in firm strokes, his fingertips ghosting the flesh running parallel to her crack, sometimes pressing the whole of his palms on the center of her ass cheeks and letting his fingers splay out on the taunt flesh.

Penny didn't know how long he keeled beside her, for all intents and purposes, kneading her ass. All she knew was how incredibly turned on she was by it.

" Sheldon?" She gasped after a particularly firm squeeze. There wasn't an inch of her bottom that wasn't completely covered, and if that hadn't been the case for the past five minutes, she would have been worried he'd stop.

" Yes Penny" He answered, his voice the deepest she'd ever heard it. Did he always sound so masculine when he was turned on? Because if that was the case maybe Penny should have him massage her ass more often.

Not that she didn't plan to have him do it more anyway, this was easily the best foreplay she'd ever had.

" Are you an ass man?" It was always best to be honest with him.

Penny was rewarded with another firm squeeze. She moaned, that had felt like a yes.

" New found data suggest that it seems to be the case" At this point he could have started saying his ABC's and in that voice Penny would have found it hot.

Arching her ass off the couch for the second time that night Penny wiggled it slightly, happy with the way Sheldon's hands lingered, Penny pushed down her thing, before sitting and taking the rest of her clothes off.

Sheldon was looking at her the way a man looked at a woman he rather desperately wanted to bed. Penny smiled, taking the rather prominent bulge in his pants as further proof. With Sheldon, it was best to be blunt. And Penny had never wanted sex more than she did at that very moment.

" Sheldon" She said, in as sultry a voice as she had," I want you to fuck me."

Sheldon's eyes widened slightly, his eyes darkening further as he took her in. Penny knew she looked fucking hot, splayed on a couch and severly turned on. Aparently Sheldon agreed. With the way he jumped her and all...

xXx

Bernadette stared at the door in disbelief, still poised to knock. Beside her Howard worked his jaw furiously, but no sound came up.

A particularly high moan of "yes! There!" had the diminutive blond turning about face rather sharply. A military sergeant would have been proud.

" Maybe I should get my glasses from her tomorrow" She mumbled.

It was all Howard could do to nod.

**xXx**

**Damn you school! Why is it that every time I've got the beginning of a good kinky lemon going responsibility and real life get in the way? I'm late now as it is. Please gimme some feedback, Ill need something to console me when I fail our quiz today :( Happy Saint Patrick's Day!**


End file.
